One Last Dance
by SUNRISE ON THE EAST SIDE
Summary: All I need is just one chance, one kiss, one night to show you what you mean to me. One chance to spend the day with you and show you how we are so alike, one kiss to prove we were more than just friends, and one night to hold you tight. AU, M/A
1. all of it just to hold your hand

**Title: **One Last Dance

**Author: **SUNRISEontheEASTSIDE (formerly tenderlies)

**Summary: **All I need is just one chance, one kiss, one night to show you what you mean to me. One chance to spend the day with you and show you how we are so alike, one kiss to prove we were more than just friends, and one night to hold you tight. AU, Alec is in the military, and is being deployed, how will he piece together his shattered life, when he returns years later?

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Dark Angel. Though, I should. Jensen will ultimately belong to me, along with alex gaskarth, but he has nothing to do with this plot.

**Background Info:** Alternate Universe, transgenics don't exist. Alec and Max were both abandoned by their parents and put into foster care, that is where they meet. Alec and Max grew up together, and they even named eachother. They were always sent to the same families. Now both are grown up. Alec is in the military and being deployed for five years. Alec has strong feelings for Max, but he just can't voice them to her.

**_____________________________________________________________**

**All of it, just to hold your hand**

_Pain. Without love. Pain. I can't get enough._

When I look into your beautiful, luminous eyes, the rest of the world just fades away. Nothing matters, nothing appeals to me, except for the two inches in between us. Those two inches make the moment so simple, so _perfect_. It took everything I had not to reach out with my hands and stroke your cheek. It took everything I had not to pull you into a hug right at this moment, and declare yourself mine. I want you to be mine forever.

A tear slipped from your eye, as you try to fight it back. Right now, I'm afraid to touch you; afraid that, that will make good-bye even more difficult. We both know that it will only be five years, but put that into perspective of two people who have spent their entire lives together, and five years will seem like eternity. That was how we were; we clung to eachother for safety, for familiarity, and for our lives. I looked out for you, and you looked out for me. We were a team, and the best one yet. And now, I was about to break that, at least for the next five years. But being drafted to the military wasn't exactly something you can just refuse.

You lift your head up and look at me, with your tear-filled eyes, and you whisper under your breath. Your voice is soft and timid, and shaky due to the tears. I've never known you to be vulnerable; it usually takes a lot to make you cry. You were a tough girl, one that fought for herself, and didn't need anyone to protect her, and yet I was always there for you.

**"I'll miss you, Alec."** Your barely audible words reach my eardrums, I wanted to scream out that I would miss you more than anything in the world, I wanted to tell you everything that my heart was telling me at this moment, I wanted to tell you that you are and always will be the most beautiful girl I ever laid eyes on, and that your smile puts the sun to shame. You are going to miss your "big brother". That was how you always saw me; big brother Alec, your crying shoulder, and your savior. You will never know that I never thought of you as a sister, you were always more than a sister to me. You are my life.

My heart feels like it is going to explode. I want to tell you, that I love you, that you mean the entire universe to me, that I would never want to leave you, but this was my mission, I had to leave. I wish I wasn't such a coward, I wish my lips would listen as my mind was commanding them to speak, to speak those three words, the three words that would change everything, but for the better. I wish my arms would listen, as my mind was commanding them to wrap around you, and pull you into the most sincere of hugs, one that speaks to hearts. But I know that in reality, I am none of these things, I am not a risk taker, I'm too afraid of the chance that I might loose you, to do any of those things. Maybe in five years, I'll finally be the man that you, more than anything, deserve.

**"Me too."** My answer was simple and to the point, but I would do more than miss you. I would spend every waking moment thinking about your chocolate brown eyes, your warm smiles, and your perfect words. I would spend every waking moment, dreaming of the day we would finally be united, and I would spend every waking moment replaying our lives together, our simple childhood lives. To speak of which, the world was cruel. This cruel, cruel world was the one that plunged our lives into the world of foster care, into the world of solitary lives. But this cruel, cruel world was also the one that brought you and I together, and through every family we've been to, good and bad, we've always stuck together. You were my constant, and I was your rock. We were each other's family; you were all I ever needed in this cruel, cruel world.

In these brief moments of silence, your arms spontaneously fall around me; your warmth spreads across my cold, cold body. Did you know that we fit together perfectly, like pieces of an ultimate puzzle, a puzzle you still haven't solved?

Letting a few minutes pass, I finally pull away; I was so close to just melting into you, I was so close to never wanting to let go. This was too much. I never liked good-byes, especially not now. I am making a promise at this moment, whether you know it or not, but I promise that I will never leaving you again. Through thick and thin, I will always be here for you.

We had grown up together, from when we were toddlers. Our parents had abandoned us, and left us to the _wonderful_ foster care. Not all the families were bad, some were good, but the main thing was that none of them lasted. I think it was about the second house I went to, where I met you. I was seven years old, and you were five, after that we just always ended up going to the same families. Actually, you would cry and beg if we ever got separated, so eventually they just moved us together. I'm not complaining, it brought the most wonderful thing into my life, you.

My hands gripped your shoulders, as if to tell you, it was going to be okay. It was just five years. We had survived the horrors of foster care, you especially. All the stories of molesting, and even rape… well they were true, and a reality for you. Needless to say, I was the only good thing about your childhood, and vise versa. My thumbs traced tiny circles on your shoulders. "**It's going to be okay, max" **I wanted to comfort you, but even more, I wanted to not be leaving. I don't think I can bare the moment in which I actually turn and walk away from you. I wished with everything I had that the plane would never have to lift off, I don't ever want to leave you.

You finally stop fighting the tears, you've given into this emotion, this great and terrible emotion, and let one little tear loose. It slowly rolled down your porcelain cheeks, and let a streaky trail behind it. Your voice quivers as you speak. **"Promise me you'll come home."**

Home, you are my home, anywhere you are, that is where I'm destined to be. I would follow you to the end of the world and back, twice. I would die a thousand painful deaths for you, and I would give up everything I had for a life with you. Life, I wanted a life for us. I wanted to wake up each and every morning, knowing you'll be forever beside me. I wanted to wake up each and every morning, knowing it was me that dwells in your heart, in your soul, and in your mind. I wanted everything for us. But I knew I wasn't brave enough to confront you now, but maybe five years later, I will. Maybe five years later, I can look you in the eye and tell you, that you are the one for me. I pressed my lips together, awaiting our impending goodbye.

_Now boarding, flight 536, to Washington D.C._

Those words pierced through me.  
Those words ended our moment.  
Those words meant goodbye.

"I promise." I muttered, definitively. I had to come home. my will was still here. My insides screamed at me to tell you, _I love you. _I wanted to say it, just three words, eight letters, and you would be mine forever. My lips parted, but the words caught in my throat. The intended vow turned out to be nothing more than silence. You were taking my breath away.

"Good-bye, Max" I said instead, removing all emotion from my voice. I wasn't going to be weak. I removed my hands from your shoulders and let them fall to my side. My gaze lingered a moment in your eyes, but soon after fell to the floor as well. Good-byes were always too painful, and I just couldn't look you in the eye right now. I feel lost, i'm loosing my way without you. Not a single part of me wants to leave. I want to stay, i want to stay home, home with you.

Your eyebrows curved in confusion, you thought I would be better at goodbye. You thought I would say just the right thing, to make our time apart seem not so distant, you were always counting on me to say the right things, and now, in this time and space, I was speechless. You leave me speechless, i can't think of anything to make the moment better, or anything to make our story more epic, but as long as you and i were the characters, every story would be epic. As long as my love for you was the moral to the story, i would learn that same lesson over and over.

You open your mouth to say something, the words also caught in your throat, I will never know what you wanted to say because you turned away and walked in the opposite direction. Your perfect brown hair follows behind you, this was going to be the last I saw you in a while. My only wish, my only regret... my only insufficiency was not being able to confront you, not being able to voice just three simple words, eight simple letters. my love for you. But now even if i could, it was too late, you were slipping away, moment by moment. The sun was setting, if i was a sunset, you would be my silhouette.

I bit my lip, hard enough so that moments later I could taste the salty blood. _Why couldn't I have held you longer? Why couldn't I have said that I loved you, that you mean everything to me?_ Before my own tears could form, I quickly picked up what few luggage bags I had, and walked through the gate, and boarded my flight.

The next five years are going to feel like a lifetime without you there.  
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**A/N:** This was written and uploaded on an older account, but I went through and made MAJOR modifications, so hopefully it is now a little bit more presentable.  
More will be coming soon, I just have to finish revising those… I have become a grammar freak lately. =P


	2. eyes are red, and tears are shed

**A/N:** Fastforward here, after Alec comes back. Afterall, the story is based on what is there when he returns.

* * *

**Eyes are red, and Tears are shed  
**_five years later... _

_Been far away for far too long, I keep dreaming you'll be with me._

"I miss you Max..." I whisper to myself. My heart beating faster with anticipation as each second passes by, each second closer to the ground, means each second closer to you. I've kept myself alive for you, for us… we were a destiny, bound to come true. My fingers drum lightly on my knee, I'm still clad in my uniform, and exhausted from the flight. There was no sleep for me during the 12 hour flight, my insides fluttered, some would call it butterflies, but everything was buzzing. I would see you in less than 20 minutes, finally see you. My gaze falls upon the view outside the window, its beautiful and serene from afar. From this view everything looked perfect, from this view I could see the bright shining hope appeal to me; I squinted my eyes, I think I can see you down there.

My muscles tense, heartbeat racing, I clench my fists as we land. I hate that part. I feel like I'm going to throw up. My stomach lurches forward, the sickness overwhelms me, the nerves overwhelm me, I can't believe I'm finally going to see you again; we'll finally be united. IOh max… I've missed you more than you know/I.

Finally, I feel the airplane touch ground. Just smooth sailing from here. My muscles loosen; my body relaxes. I breathed a sigh of relief. I was still nervous, incredibly nervous. Five years of anticipation, and this is what it was going to come to, finally. I drummed my fingers along my knee, nerves were still building up, every second that passed by seemed like hours on end, I couldn't wait to see you.

Even though, we haven't spoken in five years, I know you'll be waiting for me, you promised. I kept my promise; I came home. I'm coming home to you. The minute I saw you, I would hold you tight. I would finally breathe those three words to you, and finally we would be what we always should have been, a miracle. IGod, I love you so much, Max./I My heart was swelling, it was about to burst, this was it, this was it.

I hope you weren't too mad at me, for not writing very often. I couldn't seem to find the right words to say to you, and even then I wanted it to be more than just a letter. We never talked much about anything in those letters, you would tell me about how you found a stray cat, and I would talk about how I got to fire my weapon that day. Nothing more than just small talk, I never said anything too personal, and neither did you.

The plane finally reaches a halt, my heart races, we're at the gate.

I rushed out of my seat, the seat I had been sitting in for the last seven hours, and hurriedly retrieved my luggage from the overhead compartment. And I raced off of the aircraft. I plaster a toothy smile on as I exit the plane. My heart beats faster with each step I take, _closer. closer to you_. _I'm almost home. _The butterflies are kicking in, hard. The world is spinning; my vision is blurred. I'm so close to you. I scan the crowd for signs of your beautiful eyes, I promised you, I'd come home. Here I come.

I swiveled my head side to side, searching for you. I turned 360 degrees, and looked all around the terminal, where are you? Disappointment began to flood inside of me. _You promised you'd be here_. I refuse to believe you would break the promise. _You're here... somewhere. _Why aren't you here? Where are you, Max? My head was spinning, you couldn't have forgotten, no you didn't forget, you were here; you're here. I know you are, you promised. You never break promises…

I stood at the opening of the gate, my smile begins to fade as the crowd thins out. All the other soldiers are returning home to their families. But my home is with you. Now I think I'm really going to throw up... _you're not here_. I kept myself alive these last five years, thinking of the day where you and I would be reunited, and of the day where I would finally tell you, _I love you. _Max, how could have you forgotten? Maybe you just got the dates mixed up; maybe there was traffic. Maybe you found another cat you had to attend to. Maybe something, you couldn't have forgotten about me, how could you have forgotten?

I want to scream, why did you forget. I found an empty bench and sat down. I waited for you, and you didn't show, the minutes ticked by, soon turning into hours, still I was sitting alone. _The true meaning to my life… didn't even show up. _Was I angry at you? Or was I angry with myself for believing that you'd wait for me? I shook these thoughts out of my head. I didn't know anymore.

I glanced at the others in the baggage claim area, tears or joy rolled down their faces as they were reunited with their kin. I rolled my eyes in jealousy; that was supposed to be me. I lowered my head into my hands, I felt my own tears forming, but nothing came out. I refused to let myself cry over this. I was a soldier, I couldn't let this little endeavor bother me. No, I refused. Instead, I rubbed the tiredness out of my eyes, and lifted my head. My breath stopped.

You're more beautiful than I remember. Your perfect smile shines upon me as your walk closer and closer, your pace quickening with each step until you are almost running. It feels as though I'm frozen in time. My heart stops, I just can't breathe. At first, this could have been a hallucination. But I soon realized, it was real. You didn't forget me after all. I jump out of my seat and sprint to the door, I don't even care that you're late. Just as long as you came; just as long as we were together.

Your eyes sparkled just like they did five years ago, your hair is shorter now. I drop the bags that I was carrying and I held out my arms as I ran towards you. Your embrace was just as warm as it was five years ago. I held you close, I held you tight. My heart feeling warm, my life feeling complete. You completed me, every inch of me.

"Max!" Words could not describe the pure bliss I felt in this moment. My smile was just as wide as yours. I held you tighter, never wanting to let go. Tiny tears of joy filled my eyes, I had never came close to crying before. And it was in this moment that I decided, I was going to say it… _I love you, Max_. I formed the words inside my head.

"Alec, I'm so sorry I'm late. It's just that, I got caught up at work, and then traffic was horrible, oh I'm so sorry Alec, you must have been waiting for hours." Your words flowed fast, but I no longer cared that you were late, I forgave you. You came after all, I smiled really big, you came.

"I've missed you so much, Alec." Your breathe was soft as you voiced those words, at the same time reconnecting our embrace, your arms wrapped around me tight, you rested your head on my shoulder.

This was it, my heart pounding against my chest, this was finally it. This moment, this hour, we would finally be everything we should have always been. This was the perfect moment. My lips part, as if I'm about to converse. I pulled back from our hug, and held onto your shoulders, I looked intently into your eyes, a tiny tear had rolled down your cheek.

"Max, I Lo—"

"Oh, Alec!" You interrupt, your face beamed with so much happiness. "I couldn't wait to tell you." You flash me one of your biggest, most sincere smiles. I haven't seen you that happy since we were children. Maybe you already knew what I was going to say. Maybe you were going to say the same thing to me. I knew what was in your heart, I knew you would tell me how much you loved me. I could see it in your eyes, pure bliss.

You hold up your hand to me. I curved my eyebrows in confusion; I didn't know what you were trying to say, until my eyes focused onto the big sparkling rock attached to your finger. I froze. My smile is immediately gone. Vanished. I knew I didn't give you the ring… _No, this can't be happening… _I can't accept this.

"I'm engaged, Alec!" Your smiled beamed at me, your incredible happiness leaked all over me. I couldn't take this, no this isn't right. Max, it was suppose to be you and me, you and me forever. I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream, I didn't know what I wanted anymore.

My hands fell from your shoulders and down to my side in defeat. You can sense that something isn't right. Nothing is right anymore, nothing has meaning, no purpose. Not anymore. Why couldn't I make you see, make you see that we were meant to be.

"Aren't you happy for me?" You ask, you hold you hand out in front of you and examine the ring, once more. "I've been dreaming of this my entire life." Your voice is so lively and so full of joy. It sickens me, I'm overpowered with this intense jealousy, you have no idea how much I love you. And you never will.

I felt like my heart had been ripped out and stomping on, over and over. Never in a thousand years would I have imagined this kind of reunion. In each and every one of my dreams, I held you and said forever and ever, and you replied to the depths of eternity. _It was supposed to be you and me_. I swallow all evidence of my pain. And forced a smile. I couldn't ruin your happy streak, that would have been selfish.

"Of course I am Maxie, I couldn't be more happy." I lied. This was the worst possible scenario. And to think, I was just about to pledge my love for you. I felt the lump in my throat, I felt the tears in my eyes. You have left a wound no remedy could heal, you were my wound. The most fragile piece of me.

"Really?" You ask, rhetorically. "I want you to meet him."

No. I said inside my head. That was the last thing I wanted, meet he guy whole stole everything from me. Everything I lived for, now belonged to him. Before I can refuse, you whip out your cell phone and dial a number, only pausing for a few seconds before being answered.

"Logan." You speak. I cringed at the sound of his name, _Logan._ I hated the way you said it. I hated his name. I knew I would hate everything about him. You are laughing with him on the phone, like you were still a teenager. I shake my head, I can't take this. It was never this hard, when it was just you and me. No one else, definitely no fiancé around.

"Uhh.. listen Max." I say, I don't want to hang around and wait for him to show. You pause from your laughing at look in my direction, _hold on_ you whisper into the phone. "I'm –uhh, pretty tired from the flight" I look down at my feet, I couldn't look you in the eye. "I think I'll uhh, catch a cab home."

You raise an eyebrow.

"Alec, is everything alright?" You seen genuinely concerned. You take a step closer, but I take one back. I can't get too close.

"Yeah, I'm just tired, jetlag and all." I forced a grin. "We'll catch up some other time."

And without waiting for your reply, I pick up my luggage and head out of the terminal. My mind is racing, I don't hear you yelling my name. I just want to fade away.

_After all this time, I couldn't make you see it. That I loved you more than you'll ever know._

* * *

**A/N:** feedback is mahhh best friend. This was all dedicated to the many vanilla wafers that fed my muse. Which actually isn't much, because I sort of slacked.


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